Jude Vachon a librarian, artist, healthcare trainer, and lady scientist shares memories from each of the first fifty years of her life in this memoir zine. She was born and raised in Pittsburgh, and after several expat years in Germany in her twenties, she is back there now.
At first each year gets its own page, with its own poignant memory and its hint about how that passage affected Jude's life going forward. She begins with her mother's pregancy, an embarassment, since Jude is the youngest of seven. She simultaneously feels guilt and pleasure at being the baby and getting special treatment. "I try to be humble but really crave attention."
As an artist or maybe just because the memory is preverbal, Jude's second year entry is tactile and visual--being licked by the family dog and cleaned up by her mother wearing "her side-zip shorts with the little flowers on them that were worn so soft."
Don't worry; I'm not going to write an analysis of each of the fifty year anecdotes! I'm just so impressed with Jude's ability to remember things from her babyhood and how evocative her descriptions are. The age two memory leads the reader to think that getting time alone with her mother was special and that it was Jude's mother herself who was soft...and worn.
At three, Jude loves her T-strap shoes, and at four she starts kindergarten early, wondering if it's because she's smart or her mother wants her out of the house.
Text exclusive until near the end, Jude plays with where on the page she place her text. The entry for age eight, when Jude, who was born after four boys in a row, is a tomboy, is no longer playing with boys but relegated to watching them, is low on the page. Wondering about menstruation, at ten, is centered horizontically and vertically. Until she's sixteen, most of the posts are centered. The sixteen entry, high on the page, sees Jude going to see a therapist. "I remember him asking me how I felt and not knowing what my options were." The not knowing even what is being asked of her just floors me and makes me feel love for the child how looks through a list of feelings, provided by the therapist, trying to choose among them "in very long silences."
I'm struck by how much longer the next ten entries are than the previous ones. Just did some living from 17-26! She went to college, moved to Germany, had romantic relationships, worked in a factory, worked in a women's shelter. After that, something catastrophic happens, and the entries compact again. From 30-32, for the first time there are three on one page.
You know what? I'd better stop now. Jude is a dear friend, in case you hadn't figured that out. I've taken you more than halfway through, and I feel like I'm reviewed Jude's life, as much as her zine. I don't see the zine for sale in an online shop, so email Jude if you're interested in buying it.